Notes from Munich

I went to Germany last year and had some observations, and forgot to post them here, so here goes:

Greetings from the absolutely beautiful city of Munich. Been terrorizing the town for about a week now. I'll leave some summarized tidbits on here, in a convenient bulleted format. Honestly, who reads past the summary anyway?

1) Beer costs less than Coke here.
2) Germans don't like long drinking toasts. Gets in the way of drinking. Prost!
3) Germans love American music. To an unhealthy extent.
4) Most Germans known English. My theory: because of #3.
5) Ausfahrt means an exit on a road (like an interstate exit). I think it sounds like "Ass-fart". When I tell the Germans this, they find it hilarious, too.
6) Everyone here is at least bilingual, if not trilingual. Makes me feel undeveloped. Or American. I constantly tell the "if you speak one language, you're American" joke.
7) An old German man kept talking to me in German on the subway, after I told him I spoke English only. I just nodded and laughed at random intervals, and that kept the conversation going for 15 awkward minutes. I think he was talking about being fat (he kept gesturing at his gut).
8) There are very few fat Germans, but there aren't that many fit Germans either. Unlike America, where we tend toward extremes it seems.
9) Eating German food is like being at the state fair all the time. Tastes great, but definitely will kill you and it gets old after a while. This might be why everyone seems pretty young here.
10) You measure beer consumption in Liters. It's a brilliant system. 1 Liter of beer for dinner, 2 to get drunk, 3 is too much. Beats counting ounces.
11) German cabs are nicer than your car. Unless you drive something better than a new Mercedes with leather seats.
12) The German public transportation system, in a word, rocks.
13) Germans love karaoke, to a fault.
14) Germans made me do karaoke. To a fault (obviously).
15) The best way to do a German accent is to say it like you're mocking them. Then it actually sounds right.
16) If a German is talking loudly to you, it's very difficult to tell if he's telling a joke or about to kick your ass.
17) There are a LOT of bikes here. You are more likely to get run over by a bike than a car.
18) The autobahn does kick ass, if there's not traffic on it. I got the company car up to 185 km/hr (~115mph). Not bad for a diesel.
19) I think you can count the number of Blacks here on one hand.
20) Germans put weird shit on pizza. Prosciutto, Tuna, Olives, peppercinni, lettuce, salami, etc.
21) There's a Hard Rock Cafe here. I hate that place.
22) I found an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. The waitress spoke perfect English, Thai, and German.
23) We went and saw some local German bands play. Surprisingly, not all German music sounds like Rammstein. It probably should.
24) Don't bring up the war.

New Year’s Eve Party Recap, by the numbers.

Background: The theme of the party was "2008: Well That Sucked!"

Wow. That’s all I’m going to say, wow. A party is only as good as its people (and booze). We definitely were in the element. Here is a comprehensive recap, for those who missed it (or for those who were there and still missed it).

48: hours notice for the party. Not bad!
8: Number of New Years Eves around the world we intended to celebrate.
6: Number of New Years Eves actually celebrated (whoops)
7: Times Ryan’s sexuality came into question after donning a green feather boa.
4: Smirnoff ice lights left in my fridge. Who the hell brings Sminoff Ice Lite to a party? I think it was Ryan
1: time I shot Simon in the ass with a champagne cork
5: times I reprimanded Molly for helping clean up after the party
6: time I thanked her
17: Mexican jokes I directed at Santiago (who’s not Mexican)
5: Mexican jokes I directed at Martinez (who is)
2: number hours Chris Martinez was late by
3: times Betsy explained to me how her dress looked like an old lady dress (it was actually pretty hot)
9: people who showed up dressed better than me
2: people who could have passed for butlers
3: number of times I changed
187: times I thanked people for coming over
12: depth, in millimeters of “party floor” residue
38: approximate number of champagne bottles in the house
2: champagne bottles left
4: approximate volume, in liters, of champagne on the floor
14: “Guest DJs” drunkenly trying to play on my turntables
3: number of people who brought food to my party after I said I would have food at the party.
1: unexpected vegetarian who had to go out for food (“The animals ate vegetables!” argument didn’t stick).
25%: of Shiner keg remaining
5: gallons of margarita consumed (prime hangover suspect)
18: games of pool played
4: drunk dials apparently made from my phone (luckily no consequences)
2: random couch people in the morning
14: spongebob stickers relocated to various parts of the house.
0: douchebag quota for the party (said so on the invite)
2: number of d-bags spotted
6: times people left for another crappy party and returned. Why did you doubt me?!
5: commitments made that I forgot about in morning
8: people who came who said they weren’t coming. Way to set expectations!
1: random connection I discovered to a friend back in Atlanta (Go Julie!)
2: Embarrassing pictures on facebook of me (So far)
11PM: when Betsy passed out. Wimp.
47: pizza bites eaten
56: number of “balls dropping” jokes. (2nd annual new years party! Come watch our balls drop!)
65%: functioning memory at 2am
3: salsa songs that somehow got played
6: new years resolutions broken at the party
2: difference, in minutes of several iphones that are supposedly on the same time.
1: leap second gained in 09
1: leap second used up writing that. Shit.
0: running count of Todd S appearances at our parties
1: delicious pot of salsa (while we’re talking about salsa…)
4: times Ryan and Chris did the “Stanky Legg” (Heyyyyyy!)
0: visits by police. <- success!
0: asses through windows (here’s looking at you slaughterhouse)
7: people surprised that I cleaned the house before the party. Thanks for the vote of confidence guys.
4560: estimated calories in crack-cocaine-cheese dip I made (secret ingredient: people!)
43179: Length of time, in seconds, of hangover. (These kind of hangovers, you count in seconds).