New Year’s Eve Party Recap, by the numbers.

Background: The theme of the party was "2008: Well That Sucked!"

Wow. That’s all I’m going to say, wow. A party is only as good as its people (and booze). We definitely were in the element. Here is a comprehensive recap, for those who missed it (or for those who were there and still missed it).

48: hours notice for the party. Not bad!
8: Number of New Years Eves around the world we intended to celebrate.
6: Number of New Years Eves actually celebrated (whoops)
7: Times Ryan’s sexuality came into question after donning a green feather boa.
4: Smirnoff ice lights left in my fridge. Who the hell brings Sminoff Ice Lite to a party? I think it was Ryan
1: time I shot Simon in the ass with a champagne cork
5: times I reprimanded Molly for helping clean up after the party
6: time I thanked her
17: Mexican jokes I directed at Santiago (who’s not Mexican)
5: Mexican jokes I directed at Martinez (who is)
2: number hours Chris Martinez was late by
3: times Betsy explained to me how her dress looked like an old lady dress (it was actually pretty hot)
9: people who showed up dressed better than me
2: people who could have passed for butlers
3: number of times I changed
187: times I thanked people for coming over
12: depth, in millimeters of “party floor” residue
38: approximate number of champagne bottles in the house
2: champagne bottles left
4: approximate volume, in liters, of champagne on the floor
14: “Guest DJs” drunkenly trying to play on my turntables
3: number of people who brought food to my party after I said I would have food at the party.
1: unexpected vegetarian who had to go out for food (“The animals ate vegetables!” argument didn’t stick).
25%: of Shiner keg remaining
5: gallons of margarita consumed (prime hangover suspect)
18: games of pool played
4: drunk dials apparently made from my phone (luckily no consequences)
2: random couch people in the morning
14: spongebob stickers relocated to various parts of the house.
0: douchebag quota for the party (said so on the invite)
2: number of d-bags spotted
6: times people left for another crappy party and returned. Why did you doubt me?!
5: commitments made that I forgot about in morning
8: people who came who said they weren’t coming. Way to set expectations!
1: random connection I discovered to a friend back in Atlanta (Go Julie!)
2: Embarrassing pictures on facebook of me (So far)
11PM: when Betsy passed out. Wimp.
47: pizza bites eaten
56: number of “balls dropping” jokes. (2nd annual new years party! Come watch our balls drop!)
65%: functioning memory at 2am
3: salsa songs that somehow got played
6: new years resolutions broken at the party
2: difference, in minutes of several iphones that are supposedly on the same time.
1: leap second gained in 09
1: leap second used up writing that. Shit.
0: running count of Todd S appearances at our parties
1: delicious pot of salsa (while we’re talking about salsa…)
4: times Ryan and Chris did the “Stanky Legg” (Heyyyyyy!)
0: visits by police. <- success!
0: asses through windows (here’s looking at you slaughterhouse)
7: people surprised that I cleaned the house before the party. Thanks for the vote of confidence guys.
4560: estimated calories in crack-cocaine-cheese dip I made (secret ingredient: people!)
43179: Length of time, in seconds, of hangover. (These kind of hangovers, you count in seconds).